Move That Body
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Me at Vail - proof that I can enjoy winter weather

I had a conversation with a friend this morning about whether or not to go snowboarding with free lift tickets. As someone who loves to ride, it seems like a no brainer, right? FREE lift tickets. But, to be honest, there were a few thoughts that made me hesitate.

First, the hill is pretty small, and the last time the two of us went boarding, we were riding a foot of fresh powder in Colorado.

Second, even though the snow has fallen and the temperatures have dropped below freezing, I’m in winter denial. Strapping on my board is more of an official sign of winter than Christmas (I once celebrated Christmas Eve on an Australian Beach).

I mean, it can’t be winter if I’m still running outside and frolicking about in my fall coat. I’m still living with the unrealistic notion that temps could hit the 60s, and I might still be able to get a sweet tan. I believe this makes me delusional, and possibly crazy, according to a website I found.

I looked up the fear of winter to see if it was defined by some wild sounding word like, “zecoldephobia,” which I assumed I had. Turns out there isn’t a neat word for it, but it is recognized (at least by one psychologist). The website I found defined it as “a phobia that affects over 250,000 people in America alone. It is defined as a fear of winter of any form or kind. People suffering from the fear of winter or winter phobia will do anything and everything to avoid winter of any form or kind. Any event, person or situation that resembles, relates to or symbolizes “winter” can trigger this fear of winter off.”

No sure how they came up with that number (250,000)…

It even listed the “physical symptoms of fear or winter or winter fear.” Ready? Here they are:

sweating excessively
chest pain
dry mouth
losing control over emotions
hyperactive bowels
refusal or inability to sleep
change in sleeping patterns
stomach pains
possible psychosomatic responses
fear of dying
intense anxiety attack
incoherency in speaking
incoherency in thinking
refusal to go anywhere considered as unsafe

Woah! OK, turns out my fear maybe isn’t as bad as others. The only thing worth merit on the list is freezing (hello), and maybe incoherency in thinking (delusional). I’m a little concerned about the person whose fear of winter causes hyperactive bowels …


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